A Hot Job Appears on Monster.com

Job title: International Transport Liaison

Looking For:
Good people person. Fast on feet. Agile. Business man. Shrewd negotiater. Bilingual. Like to travel and okay with being away from real world for weeks on end. Can drive. Reliable car. Inconspicuous, white Econo-Line Van recommended (ask within on a great deal. We get a wholesale price from Ford plants in Mexico). Has access to Pesos and US Dollars. Swarthy. Flexible schedule. Have an alias. Multiple aliases preferred. Quick problem solver. Likes to help people.

Benefits:
The assurance that you can still get those low, low prices at Walmart. Not to have your son clean a Motel 8, after a prom party. Upholding the phrase “Ignorance is bliss.” A true hero, however you will never receive medals or recognition.

Experience:
Knowledge of Southwest, USA terrain. Fluent in broken, illiterate Spanish, as well as regular Spanish. Must have built up safe houses in the Southwest, USA’s outlying areas. Must have solid in-road connections to dirty, American corporations who seek huge, droves of unskilled laborers. Work as a Park Ranger preferred.

Duties:
Shuttle worthy workers across the border from Mexico to the US, without any authorities finding out. Drive them to and fro safe houses, while they acclimate to their newfound status.

Caution when Applying (these may apply to you):
Seeing the realities of the border debate play out before your eyes and be able to look away. Know you can be prosecuted and therefore jailed and furthermore, have NO legit backing by your phantom employers, the United States’ corporations. Realizing you are part of a grand scheme that both the US and Mexican governments are in on. Leave your morality behind.

Apply through illegal channels at any US-Mexico border town: Tiajuana, Ciudad Juarez, El Paso, Mexicali and Laredo.