Mama also said knock you out

I had a one night stand this past week. This butter pecan has been eyeing me my last few visits at the club. She’s been hollering at me inconspicuously, that’s what she thinks. Whatever, right? I paid no mind. Then the other night, her desperate ass walked by and slipped me her number. She goes by Kris and her number was Music & Media. She whispered in my ear, “Come by & check the site out.” I’m thinking to myself ‘This aint eHarmony.com, bitch! Don’t you got MySpace or something. Thinking you’re all sophisticated and shit with a website. Hoe, I got website. Everybody and their mama got a website?’ Whatever. She meant well. She wasn’t bad looking, you know, nothing too wrong: teeth were in the right place, equal sized tits, little thick for my taste. But shit, I’ll jump on a grenade at this point.

So I’m over there checking out her place and the shit aint bad. Seriously. She was clean and correct. Her gear was updated with the newest mixtapes and some of the new singles. Mad props, yo! I couldn’t resist; she had the newest DJ 31 Degreez The Forecast 3. I needs my Kiotti fix! See, she was the first bitch that day to show me her tits. Bluntly speaking, her site was the first place I looked for my links. Usually I go to my regular hook ups, Smoking Section, Different Kitchen, Fresh and some others I got on the DL. Yeah, I fucked her! Got my fix, though!

The next day I’m just going about my business when I see this Kris hitting me up. Who is this again, cuz I don’t remember? It aint a dude, is it? Naw, they spell it C-h-r-i-s. Kris is the female equivalent. But isn’t that butch? Hey, as Cam put it, “We got something in common, what a coinky dink.” Maybe she’s an internet thugstress? Whatever. She text me, rather, claiming I stole her goodies, her links. I guess I was supposed to just “check it out.” Who looks and doesn’t touch? What, I raped you! C’mon, you gave me the pussy, the links. Shit you damn near threw it in my mouth! In fact, you were screaming my name, “Oh, Marc, give me attention, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!” You act like no one’s ever fucked you, like no one has ever taken links from your site. You have you period yet, little girl? You a virgin all of a sudden? Bitch please, cuz ya look like you been around the block, a lot. Then she says, “at least thank me.” For what, ya goodies? They’re a dime a dozen. I fuck bitches for their goodies daily and don’t thank them. I don’t need to. See, it’s a mutual appreciation. We both winners here – that give and receive theory I was kicking earlier. Who did you thank for your goodies? Or am I to believe you pleasure yourself, you create these links, like you got Skyzoo or Weezy over at your studio? You thank me? Didn’t think so! But I aint throwing a fit. It’s all good. I know we appreciate each others actions; it doesn’t need to be said. Plus, you have “2000 others you hollering at daily”. Why you beefing with me? You jealous? DFB testified, “Oh, I think she liked me.” Ya dig!

Get off my dick. And we aint touching mics neither. Nope. “I will not lose.” I feel like Shawn Carter in the verse, “It’s ya boy, boy!” And I aint overhyping this beef like Kay Slay. This legit. At least it aint boostin my site! I talk about her, I post her link. Ungrateful, cum sucking whore! Prolly can’t even read. Shoo, "You illiterate s-o-b, step up yo vocab!” “That’s your fault… you don’t get me back like that. I’m a man with pride, you don’t do shit like that!” Mama told me to walk away when an argument escalates. Mama told me to not get into superfluous arguments over the internet. Mama also told me to knock her out. So hey, stop hitting me up on my website. Was I that good? She aint answer. Then why you still callin, hanging around my site yappin! "Come on now, who do you, who do you... think you are, ha, ha, ha, bless your soul, you really think you're in control. I think your crazy..." Ha, Mally, the pen do tricks! Walk it out. “No. Go that way! (Loser) Motherfuckas wanna be like KissMyAss [insert Pun]… I don’t know you mannnn [insert woman or Kris]!” It really is “so hard”.