My Inner Valley Girl: Real World Denver
Like what a week…
First, about last week. Tyrie is soo scary. I mean when I see him on TV he’s freaky. He’s big, like a defensive linemen big. Even his shadow is intimidating. Plus, it doesn’t help that he’s black, he might like stab you for your chain. But I’ve learned that if your chain hangs low, peeps would be like in awe of how much you’re shining. Thanks Jibbs. Whoopsies. I don’t want you guys to think I’m like a racist, b/c I meant to say that it doesn’t help that Tyrie is African-American b/c of all of those negative stereotypicals. But like he does yell a lot. If I were Jazzy, his g/f, I would be scared too. Even if was a roommate, I would be crying. I even want to like call him and tell him to stop yelling. It’s like when he tries to talk his tone of voice is a shrill yell. Linds, did you see how he grabbed Jazzy? No, let me tell you. Like all the cast is at a new club and having fun and all… party time!!! Rockstar, wooooo! I love Jenn, the whore. Her like gina must be so fricken loose. I’m off topic, how awful of me! So then Tyrie sees his old hook-up Ashley. Then Jazzy comes and there’s those cuts of the camera like in a scarry movie and all that’s playing in your head, it’s that thuddy piano sound, like da, da, daaaa! It’s like a pasta western flick when the rebels square off. So Jazzy gets muy jeleoso and storms out. Weird, I know. Like she shoulda went in there and been like ‘yo biatch this is my man, so stop serving him drinks’ in that sassy attitude all African American women have. So then like the drama goes home and everyone’s totally wasted. Jazzy meets up with Ty at the house and they get into it. Jazzy wants to go and then Ty grabs her and pulls her and screams at her so loud that like all the roommates hear—even Jenn who is hitting on Steve’s friend. She’s like sooo whorey and wants to f-u-c—knowing that she’ll be cheating on her b/f but not b/c like her sis told her that he kissed another girl and Jenn told Brooke that her b/f kissed another girl and that Jenn thinks it’s worse to kiss another girl and than like sex another man. How is kissing worse than sex? OMG Jenn, you’re like totally my idol b/c you’ve reached total whoredom, it’s like b/c you slob too much knob it has clouded your dedcuctive reasoning so much so you rationalize your behavior when you totally shouldn’t. She was sooo mad b/c her fuck for the night was like interrupted. She stops Ty for a moment. Then they like they cut the show and it’s like “To Be Continued”…
And now just moments ago Ty goes outside and is still like yelling like a gorilla and pounding his man chest and he pees on the wall and the cops come and sirens flash and the handcuffs go on and then he pleads and then everyone is in awe. It seemed so much like a Cops show just without that “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do” music. I felt like so sad for Ty. I mean I know he was yelling and grabbing people and pissing but like he so shoulda been arrested for wearing the same dress shirt to the clubs for like 20 days in a row. Like the fashion police shoulda detained him and rehabilated his clothing. Then he gets detox. Everyone’s crying—Jenn like luckily explains the whole ideal. What would RW: Denver be without a whore? Steve and Alex pick him up at Jazzy’s, why would Jazzy pick him up after a fight? They were totally on when they said Ty + Jazzy = Bobby + Whitney. He was so ashamed that he’d been portrayed of a woman beater and a criminal—um, reality check Ty: everyone already believes that big African-American men are wife beaters and criminals. Gosh, ever watched the news? Hello! But the Bible says he deserves a second chance—but not a third! So you’ve been forewarned, Ty. I so hope he doesn’t leave and like what strict daddy he has saying “yes sir” after every comment from his dad. But like I want Ty around just so we can see him slip up again while he’s wasted so I look at him and say “tisk, tisk”. It makes me feel so much better. Oh, and Jenn, pull it out already and suck it... Why are you waiting!!!
First, about last week. Tyrie is soo scary. I mean when I see him on TV he’s freaky. He’s big, like a defensive linemen big. Even his shadow is intimidating. Plus, it doesn’t help that he’s black, he might like stab you for your chain. But I’ve learned that if your chain hangs low, peeps would be like in awe of how much you’re shining. Thanks Jibbs. Whoopsies. I don’t want you guys to think I’m like a racist, b/c I meant to say that it doesn’t help that Tyrie is African-American b/c of all of those negative stereotypicals. But like he does yell a lot. If I were Jazzy, his g/f, I would be scared too. Even if was a roommate, I would be crying. I even want to like call him and tell him to stop yelling. It’s like when he tries to talk his tone of voice is a shrill yell. Linds, did you see how he grabbed Jazzy? No, let me tell you. Like all the cast is at a new club and having fun and all… party time!!! Rockstar, wooooo! I love Jenn, the whore. Her like gina must be so fricken loose. I’m off topic, how awful of me! So then Tyrie sees his old hook-up Ashley. Then Jazzy comes and there’s those cuts of the camera like in a scarry movie and all that’s playing in your head, it’s that thuddy piano sound, like da, da, daaaa! It’s like a pasta western flick when the rebels square off. So Jazzy gets muy jeleoso and storms out. Weird, I know. Like she shoulda went in there and been like ‘yo biatch this is my man, so stop serving him drinks’ in that sassy attitude all African American women have. So then like the drama goes home and everyone’s totally wasted. Jazzy meets up with Ty at the house and they get into it. Jazzy wants to go and then Ty grabs her and pulls her and screams at her so loud that like all the roommates hear—even Jenn who is hitting on Steve’s friend. She’s like sooo whorey and wants to f-u-c—knowing that she’ll be cheating on her b/f but not b/c like her sis told her that he kissed another girl and Jenn told Brooke that her b/f kissed another girl and that Jenn thinks it’s worse to kiss another girl and than like sex another man. How is kissing worse than sex? OMG Jenn, you’re like totally my idol b/c you’ve reached total whoredom, it’s like b/c you slob too much knob it has clouded your dedcuctive reasoning so much so you rationalize your behavior when you totally shouldn’t. She was sooo mad b/c her fuck for the night was like interrupted. She stops Ty for a moment. Then they like they cut the show and it’s like “To Be Continued”…
And now just moments ago Ty goes outside and is still like yelling like a gorilla and pounding his man chest and he pees on the wall and the cops come and sirens flash and the handcuffs go on and then he pleads and then everyone is in awe. It seemed so much like a Cops show just without that “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do” music. I felt like so sad for Ty. I mean I know he was yelling and grabbing people and pissing but like he so shoulda been arrested for wearing the same dress shirt to the clubs for like 20 days in a row. Like the fashion police shoulda detained him and rehabilated his clothing. Then he gets detox. Everyone’s crying—Jenn like luckily explains the whole ideal. What would RW: Denver be without a whore? Steve and Alex pick him up at Jazzy’s, why would Jazzy pick him up after a fight? They were totally on when they said Ty + Jazzy = Bobby + Whitney. He was so ashamed that he’d been portrayed of a woman beater and a criminal—um, reality check Ty: everyone already believes that big African-American men are wife beaters and criminals. Gosh, ever watched the news? Hello! But the Bible says he deserves a second chance—but not a third! So you’ve been forewarned, Ty. I so hope he doesn’t leave and like what strict daddy he has saying “yes sir” after every comment from his dad. But like I want Ty around just so we can see him slip up again while he’s wasted so I look at him and say “tisk, tisk”. It makes me feel so much better. Oh, and Jenn, pull it out already and suck it... Why are you waiting!!!
posted by The Major @ 3:43 PM
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