My Inner Valley Girl: Casino Royale + When the Levees Broke

OMG Daniel Craig is sooo hot. Like I wouldn’t let him touch me but he’s so muscley and bicepy—he’s even got muscles on his forehead. And he looks like a sad dog lapping for drops of water, like my oooh so cute little Dribbles, I love you dribbles don’t I… kiss, kiss, kiss. Ewww, no Dribbles I wont actually kiss you, you smell!!! But like the whole movie was so not action packed, it seemed so generic. Like the opening scene was so racist b/c the African African guy was running thru the city like an animal, like a untamed cheetah not following rules and climbing up the building like a monkey. And then DC was like stomping the whole city and bulldozing it like the British did during like slave times and colloquial times. He like chases the African African guy down and beats him and destroys his whole land for information. It’s like a parallel of colloquialism in the 1850s. It’s funny too b/c we just learned this in history class. But the movie was all about poker and like the poker wasn’t even entertaining or suspenseful. Like too, I can watch Todd and the boys play poker all night or I play it online or watch it on ESPN, so why is this touted as being an action film when its booooring! And the Bond girls aren’t even cute! Like that one who speaked Spanish was kinda but that accenty thingy she was talking with was so not cute! There were no bad guys either, no evil, diabolical villain. I mean c’mon they didn’t even try: a guy with a glass eye? Totally not freaking me out!

Spike Lee is like so right, OMG, Linds. I felt so sad for those poor people who don’t have money to get out the NO and stayed and died. Like all their homes were ruined and not by Katrina but by the levees. Whatever a levee is, but blame it on the levee. And Bush was like so mean, he didn’t even give little Tyrone a teddy bear for his condolences. And too I didn’t even know that Katrina victims still haven’t gotten help. Like that’s so long ago! Like the movie totally changed who I am. Like I gave to the Katrina fund and my church went down there to NO to like rebuild and redecorate the city with orange beads and trees and bikes and stuff but like it’s still not enough. I mean can’t people realize that these people need a home and like a teddy bear! Some people, I tell you! But it’s settled like I’m going to write a letter to the Nyquil guys and be like hey Katrina people need relief and like Nyquil makes everything all better, so if they could send a truck full of Nyquil to all the victims it would like align all the problems in the whole wide world.