Introducing Rudy Gonzalez QB for the U of Texas

Guadalupe! Rudy! Ven! Ven! It’s him! C’mon, open the door. Rudy get the coffee and Windex the table quick, Steve is here. Oh, hi, hello, hola, amigos! Mi llama Steve Richardson! Oh, don’t flatter us Steve, we speak darn near good English. Oh, no, I’d wanted to try and acculturate myself to what myself, the University of Texas and its patrons would be welcomed with by your family’s presence. Oh, cut it out Steve. Guadalupe, aye, get the cookies and the café. Oh, we’re not going to a café are we? There’s no need for that. Huh, no, no, my wife is bringing out some coffee and cookies. Rudy come sit, put the Windex underneath the sink, okay. Hurry back. Now there’s my boy, already to clean up and take direction. This is just great, sir, what fundamentals you have taught your son. Oh yeah, Rudy is a good listener – he does not talk back either. Well, hey, looks like we’re a match made in Heaven. The Lord put us all here to do something, now ain’t that right Rudy. Oh, yes, sir. C’mon there Rudy, put her there. I’m pleased to welcome you to the team. To our team, the University of Texas. Ain’t no recruiting needed; I just made my decision. Rudy’d work perfectly under our staff conditions. Arriba, Arriba. Now don’t go shooting off dem pistols you hear, we’ve got a lot work ahead of us and a lot of planning. You have got to study hard on them playbooks with the staff. We are grooming yous for the leader of our Mighty Texas squad. Oh, my boy Rudy’s gonna play with the big boys. He’s not gonna let you down Mr. Richardson nor the state and fans of UT. Are you Rudy? No, dad. I’m going to be a winner. We are going to clean up the competition. Oh, my goodness. Talking like that son, getting me all riled up and the season ain’t even start yet. Boy, are we glad to have you. We have seen your record and watched you work. You dispose of the garbage with a tight strategy that e’erybody can un’erstand. Bit by bit you inch towards the goal with such precision that is so uncanny this side of the border, that it’s a pleasure and an honor to have you as our the team leader to the University of Texas janitorial squad. What?! Rudy was being recruited for the football team. He is one of the best in the state? What are you speaking of? What on Earth? We musta had a little misun’erstanding. I came here to offer Rudy the head position of our janitorial staff. He’s a budding star in this field, sir. And if I must say, it would be a mighty shame for Rudy not to be able to experience this offer. There is certainly a mix-up. Rudy plays football and he will start somewhere! I ‘on’t know where you conjuring these fantasies Mr. Gonzalez, but with the utmost sincerity I must tell you we cannot have a Mexican quarterback playing for Texas University. It just ain’t happenin’. We recruiting him for the team leader of the janitorial service and that was it. What, how dare you state that in front of my family, have you no shame?! Well, sir, I beg you to rescind your ideas and comments and still consider our gracious offer. We’d truly both benefit from Rudy’s presence. I dare you to try any other collegiate school and there ain’t Mexicans on the field, that’s only after the game. America will not stand for a Mexican QB, I’ll tell yous that much!

[The following fall] Here’s your time, son. Now go out there and make us proud. It’s your one shining moment, that is, if you know how to really get a shine out of that seement floor. Here’s your mop and dust broom. Show them what you’re made of Rudy.
[Cheers & Jeers] Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!