Spam E-mails from Rummy1984

K-Rove! I’ve had this idea for a while, but I did not know when the best time to bring it up was. This magnificent solution has been rattling around my noggin for weeks. Release Saddam so he can gas the Kurds. Once the Kurds are out of the way, then the Shiites and the Sunnis can play a game of deadly tag. The last won standing wins and their prize is that they now are secretly controlled by us. No one will know that Saddam’s loose. Everybody is happy.

K-Rove, what’s happening? How them speeches go? Love to hear from you! So I was watching Lost season 1 and realized how much this parallels our mission in Iraq. After watching 6 episodes – my wife rented the DVD set (I’m going to scratch them and return them back to Blockbuster) – I was surfing the tube and turned to ESPN. The LA Angels were down by 3 runs in the ninth with one out and runners on the corners. Up on the jumbotron was this videotaped monkey jumping up and down getting the crowd all excited. Even all the fans had monkey dolls and were the monkey’s puppeteer. The Angels, with the genius help of that fantastically trained monkey, won the game. Ok get to the point rummy… Iraq and a rally monkey? Huh! Call it a walk off homerun. Bombs away! Get back to me on what you think.

K-Rove… something just hit me! We’re not in Kansas anymore! We’re stuck in this Iraqi conflict. This isn’t like the Tackle of Topeka, this is Itinerary Iraqi Hell! Soldiers are actually dying; I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. I, along with these soldiers feel like Dorothy, there’s no place like home. We’re uncomfortable out there in this desolate Muslim world. Those terrorists are wicked ass witches cooking up whatever wicked brew they can to stir up a vaporous quagmire. K-Rove, we need out… There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home. Damnit it’s not working!