Dikembe Mutombo Comes Clean

“Everybody always asks me ‘how old are you?’ or I hear discussions, speculations that I am older than I look, well—all Africans who come here are older than we look. Check our birthdates. We all celebrate our b-day on the New Years day. I just wanted to finally end the debate, the back stabbing. All one had to do was ask. I am 54. No fib. I know that’s old. How do I do that? I run 15 miles a day. My body runs off on just meager scraps: old bananas, bread crusts and drinking fountain water. Look at all them damn Kenyans monopolizing the marathons. I also have the burden of feeding Africa all by myself. If I don’t work, Africa doesn’t eat. Yeah all these Americans want to help Africa, with RED, Live AID, giving second hand clothing to Africans or having a water photo shoot with Mandela but they don’t really care! I’ve been carrying Africa on my back for the last 20 years. They not doing anything; they just show face. Oh, well. Not like that’s been stopping me. I’ll keep swatting people’s weak lay-ups and wagging my finger until Africa is full.”