What's Happenin
Larry King to interview Anna Nicole Smith’s Couch… “So Velvet, how was Anna’s depression, I mean you felt it daily, how’d you deal with it and did you try to tell her she was messed up, walk us through?”
Ghostface’s next album to be full of kid’s fables and night time stories… “I want to do something for the kids, you know, give the kids Mother Goose Ghostface style. The big bad wolf, Hickory Dickory Dock Donny just got an L for a case gone wrong, Alice in Concrete Jungleland, I got all that shit.”
Tyra Banks invites Tyra Banks on her talk show. Tyra Banks offended that Tyra Banks interrupts her while she is speaking and vows never to return… “She is so rude, why do people still respect her.”
Even Jay Z’s a rock star. He recently spit a verse for with the White Stripes’ Jack White and is recording with Nickel Back… “It’s H-O-V, I got differ-ant P-O-V, sittin back, chillin with my homies Nickel Back—Sorry, what you want me to do!”
Stewart Scott’s eye, of ESPN, kept moving and eventually his lazy eyelid closed during the “Sportscenter” telecast. Later assistants stood and pried his eyelid open for the remainder… “It was difficult, with them hovering over me. I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden my left eyelid just went nighty night. It was like boo-ya!”
Paul Wall fined by the Thesaurus for not coming up with different words to explain the same thing. He was cited for overusing “I’m higher than a kite”, “Flier than a flier” “I got that drank in my cup”, “Sippin on sum oil” and any rap rhyme referring to his “grillz”.
Alberto Gonzalez tells all… “I did fire those lawyers and judges because they weren’t loyal to Bush. I also then administered Gitmo torture methods so they could tell me their secrets. One told me he’d stole free napkins from Congress’ cafeteria. That gave me the legal right to expel him.”
After seeing Styles P all of last week on BET’s Rap City Nelly decides to donate money to get Styles P some much needed dental work… “Man put a grill in there or something. I didn’t know things were that bad!”
The members of Pretty Ricky are the first gay holograms… “Pretty Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Rickay”
John McCain to release documentary of an amazing discovery if he loses the Presidential race… “Gore opened doors.”
Axel Rose denies it but the photo doesn’t lie. He finally beat the shit out of Tommy Hilfiger with the help of his quasi extension blonde braids.
Saigon stabbed in the temple in an attempted robbery for his chain, his much anticipated album will be delayed again… “I know people waiting and trust me, I didn’t stab myself again because my album aint ready…”
Philippines to Angelina Jolie: “You haven’t adopted Malaki yet, what’s the hold up? Your lack of caring for little Malaki and the Philippines means you are not welcome here in the Philippines. You should have picked us before Vietnam! You are here by banned!”
Ghostface’s next album to be full of kid’s fables and night time stories… “I want to do something for the kids, you know, give the kids Mother Goose Ghostface style. The big bad wolf, Hickory Dickory Dock Donny just got an L for a case gone wrong, Alice in Concrete Jungleland, I got all that shit.”
Tyra Banks invites Tyra Banks on her talk show. Tyra Banks offended that Tyra Banks interrupts her while she is speaking and vows never to return… “She is so rude, why do people still respect her.”
Even Jay Z’s a rock star. He recently spit a verse for with the White Stripes’ Jack White and is recording with Nickel Back… “It’s H-O-V, I got differ-ant P-O-V, sittin back, chillin with my homies Nickel Back—Sorry, what you want me to do!”
Stewart Scott’s eye, of ESPN, kept moving and eventually his lazy eyelid closed during the “Sportscenter” telecast. Later assistants stood and pried his eyelid open for the remainder… “It was difficult, with them hovering over me. I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden my left eyelid just went nighty night. It was like boo-ya!”
Paul Wall fined by the Thesaurus for not coming up with different words to explain the same thing. He was cited for overusing “I’m higher than a kite”, “Flier than a flier” “I got that drank in my cup”, “Sippin on sum oil” and any rap rhyme referring to his “grillz”.
Alberto Gonzalez tells all… “I did fire those lawyers and judges because they weren’t loyal to Bush. I also then administered Gitmo torture methods so they could tell me their secrets. One told me he’d stole free napkins from Congress’ cafeteria. That gave me the legal right to expel him.”
After seeing Styles P all of last week on BET’s Rap City Nelly decides to donate money to get Styles P some much needed dental work… “Man put a grill in there or something. I didn’t know things were that bad!”
The members of Pretty Ricky are the first gay holograms… “Pretty Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Rickay”
John McCain to release documentary of an amazing discovery if he loses the Presidential race… “Gore opened doors.”
Axel Rose denies it but the photo doesn’t lie. He finally beat the shit out of Tommy Hilfiger with the help of his quasi extension blonde braids.
Saigon stabbed in the temple in an attempted robbery for his chain, his much anticipated album will be delayed again… “I know people waiting and trust me, I didn’t stab myself again because my album aint ready…”
Philippines to Angelina Jolie: “You haven’t adopted Malaki yet, what’s the hold up? Your lack of caring for little Malaki and the Philippines means you are not welcome here in the Philippines. You should have picked us before Vietnam! You are here by banned!”
posted by The Major @ 3:12 PM
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