Joe Budden’s Research, “It’s in his jeans…”

Security officer, Ted Reed told reporters, “He’s been hiding out in the Def Jam computer room and archives section. Yeah he’s been in here like he has a day job the past few months.” Reed has no idea on what Budden has been doing, although he said on several occasions that Budden “looked like he was gonna go postal up in this biatch”. Budden has been speechless when we’ve asked him of his comings and goings. All he said was to look and hear his recent songs. Well, we have and we can sense that he’s mad at certain people, or just mad at everyone. When asked if he is suffering from depression, a heated Budden yelled, “I don’t trust reporters as far as I can throw him!” Late last week we got a tip from a person who wants to remain anyonomous. All we can say is he is within the rap industry. He told us that Buddens username was ZoloftKing186. So we got papers right and walked into Def Jam’s archive center. Ironically his password was: HOVA. In there we found some items but not much as we suspected he carries his own storage disk. What we can say is Budden has uncovered something so big it will rock this world. He is doing some research essay on the African slave trade. We pieced together as much as we could and came up with what seems to be a very plausible idea of Budden’s work. So Jay Z ‘s ancestors were involved in slave trade in Africa. They were the Africans who helped the British and the Americans to gain a stronghold. His ancestors rounded up fellow or neighboring tribes people and sold them as slaves. As Buddens puts it in one of his works in progress, “his great great great great great granddads rounded up fellow Africans or opposite tribes and sold them to the white man.” He goes on to comment later, “No wonder he’s been slaving people at ROC. I mean it’s in his jeans, scuse me, it’s in his genes. Memph, the Gunz, Cam and the Dips, O Sparks oh and ya boy Joey! Why you think he so cool with all the execs? Cuz he made deals and is profitin off of all these misfits!” It seems to us that Budden has done his homework and if this is true, that Jay Z came for slave mongerers, than Hova is about to meet some dissention. How then did Jay come from Marcy? “His fams was stupid. They set up shop in what is now present day Mali. They were getting paid until one day when the white man was like “fuck it” and snatched the Carter’s and took them in as slaves too. I guess they didn’t see it coming.” Well, from the feeling of Budden’s research, Jay better watch out, as someone’s going knock him off his pedistal one of these days.