Check My Footwork

Every other Saturday I will begin to chronicle my shoe/sneaker/kicks collection. I’ll give a quick description and up a song or two. The song will try to capture what I envision every time I lace up that particular shoe, like what mood I’m in or what kind of swagger I walk with when I’m careening down the boulevard.

I was known in high school as that kid with them funky shoes as I was always rocking something different. But I soon realized that as many shoes as I thought I owned, I had nothing on a lot of folks (not counting people with exorbitant amounts of disposable funds, including you rappers & athletes). Some of y’all out there are some fucking sneaker heads! While I totally respect others’ collections, I admire my mine. Why? Well, I try to be practical as possible—am I going to actually wear these or are they going to collect dust? I do intend to wear all of them but yeah, I ain’t gonna touch that one! Matter of fact, it’s so untouchable I’m not even going to open the box again. Another factor is Nike; while they design the best shoes, they enslave kids to produce the best shoes. It’s hard to present my love for shoes without telling you how awful I feel at being a hypocrite—but damn those little hands are crafty! My collection comes from a budget; I don’t like to overspend, refuse to have yet another material position and let’s be honest, I can’t afford some of those prices!

I’ve been enamored with kicks since I can remember. Do the colors do it for me or those pieces of paper bunched up towards the toe? Or is it that new sneaker smell? And how come I get a euphoric high whenever I buy a new pair of shoes? I swear I get turned on by some kicks, it’s like I keep on looking at them sitting on the shelf and my nipples harden. Please excuse the vulgarity but seriously. I like to match but I don’t let it rule my wardrobe and consequently, my mood. Shoes are an extension of my personality; I am a little flamboyant at times and others, just subtly withdrawn. Owning different pairs to me is purely stylistic; I’m not trying to be fresh—bitch, I am fresh!

With that said, I want to give you, yes you, the opportunity to show off your shoes, whether you have a collection or not. Remember, you don’t have to be a sneaker head to enjoy the art of shoes. Take a picture of your kicks and send them to me (one pair per picture). Make sure you include your name and where you’re from. And if you feel bold, bold enough to write up a description/history of that particular shoe, please do. With the brief writing, it should be concise, sum up your feelings and remember to write in complete sentences and do a spell check—I am not your editor (and don’t make me use Bun B’s line on you!!!). If you want to include a song, go ahead and up it for me too. If you choose to tell about your kicks, do whatever. I don’t care if you got some Pro Keds (I had a pair too) or some Apex, if you can put a spin on it, no K-Swiss pun intended, let me, ahem, let us hear about it. E-mail me the pics, descriptions and/or songs to kiss.my.assplz@hotmail.com . I’ll post whatever I get, assuming some cats take me up on my offer.


This are the Kobe IIs. I got them 6 months after they were released when they were on sale. I was a junior in high school and man, when I walked with these I was crushing. Being scared of getting any dirt on them I would walk extremely slow (for real), as if I had some space shoes on. Everybody and their mama wanted to touch them. I had people bending over and petting them. The consensus was these were "out of this world". I retired them once I got to college because they were a tad small and I don't want to ruin them any more (I got tired of cleaning them after every use).

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