Baron’s a Baron

Right now! Nicole Schiezin—whatever her name is, is getting on my nerves! Right now, I can’t help but look at her! Right now, Reggie Miller cannot commentate. Maybe it’s because he never fixed those crooked teeth. And Dee Brown, who is he? He’s breaking down playoff games on ESPN, what insight does he have. Oh, he’s that one dude who won the dunk contest. I bet he’s going to cover his eyes with his forearm, so as not to look at his notes/cue cards, and be like, “And Arenas flies in for the SLAMA-JAMMA!” and then Tim Legler’ll be like, “Yo, yo Dee, Arenas is injured. I know you won the dunk contest with your arm over your eyes but that wont work in the commentating business.” Man, so this is what Baron Davis can do when he’s healthy. He’s definitely been schooling cats, breaking D. Harris down. And Nowitzkwi can’t even get a shot off, wow! Ain’t you 7 feet, bra? Who does Matt Barnes think he is, a rock star w/ that weak ass Mohawk. And tats on his neck, you ain’t A.I.! That worked at UCLA but try thizzing in East Oakland Matt. Tell Stephen Jackson to show you how to be a thug. Monta Ellis is sick. J. Rich can knock em down. But damn the Warriors take too many damn shots—and miss them too! That Bierdins dude must tan. As you can tell I’ve been watching the Mavs v Warriors series. Part of me wants the the Warriors to win and part of me wants the Mavs to win. I just don’t think the Warriors will be as entertaining past the first round. This is the first year in a while that I’ve been catching games in the first round too, probably b/c I gave up on the T’Wolves a long time ago. Lebron v the Arenas-less Wiz was pointless. We’ll see how good LBJ is v.s. the Nets. Dee took care of Orlando, easily. Dwight H. needs to step up his game if he wants to go deep in the playoffs. And why can’t Turkeyglue win games when he’s the star? Jameer Nelson is turning into Stephon. Dude can ball but needs to learn how to pass. Good to see G. Hill still at it. Man, what could have been had he never been injured? And the MIA, don’t get me started. They’re too old—what can Eddie Jones do for you. They somehow got some wins w/o D-Wade but I thought they’d at least take this series to 6. I am starting to believe in Deng/Gordon. I still think Hinrich is a huge reason why they’re so good (psst: he looks like a scarecrow). And PJ, where’s Charlie Ward when you’re looking to fight? Ah, but Lindsay Hunter’s coming. The Raptors are cute but Bosh ain't a beast. Plus J-Kidd’s putting up Oscar Robertson numbers: 16-16-19. Kidd’s still my favorite player and to think he’s been in the playoffs every year since his stint w/ the Mavs. Plus VC is taking over, one weak Raptors team at a time and he’s been flying under the radar, just hope he can keep it up. Where’s Cliff? Stop whining Duncan! Oberto, Ginobli, Parker, Duncan, Elson, Barry, Finely, Bowen—how many solid players do the Spurs have? I knew AI + Melo wasn’t going to work. Nene can’t do everything (and he hasn’t either). Who shot JR? Jazz & the Rockets: Boring!!!! Boozer and Deron ain't Malone/Stockton, Okur is inconsistent, Fisher has been surprising and Kirilenko must do something extraordinary because I never see him in the box score. As for T-Mac and Yao, yawn. I wont give them attention until they’re facing the Suns or Spurs. Kobe can fly, Sir Isaac Newton and Chucky Barkely! Where’s the elbow Raja? Rajjjjjjaaa! Nash drops 23, seen it before. Warriors might hang v.s. H-Town, so the best series to watch, again, will be Suns v.s. Spurs and then the Spurs v.s Pistons. Let’s say the Bad Boys wont be able to beat up Timmy the gnome.