To say I’m fiending for pussy

Is an understatement. I mean, I’m not at Sex World looking for pornos; that was last week. I’m not stalking women like Cho did, it was unsuccessful. I’m not whispering sweet nothings in ears. Hell, I will not take a woman to a Ne-Yo concert. No. Plus Ne-Yo might be more interested in me then her, you dig! Yeah, I haven’t had “some” in a while. Well, what’s a while? More than 8 days Derek Zoolander!

Lately I’ve seen my taste in women change; the limitations have stretched. Club Marc is a little less exclusive. I will continually claim it’s not out of desperation but you know and she knows that’s a big fat lie. I used to be attracted to thinner women—not Nicole Richie—but you know, less than regular. T&A still aren’t a huge concern; they’re not necessarily a deal breaker. Suffice to say, I have shed my, er, the media’s conception of a beautiful woman. Nowadays I can be seen going “Damn” to a semi-thick chick. No, not thack, just semi-thick. I’m getting there. I’m being less picky because because, well if you saw me…

I do wish I was elsewhere. It’s not like I dislike Minnesota women and I’m sure there’s some dizzies out there I haven’t seen. I think I’m sure of that? It’s not that I don’t find white women attractive—brunettes? Brunettes? I can get weak in the knees for some brunettes, alright SWV. It’s just that I’d like to see more diversity. I want me a Dominican! One that can cook me omelettes out this continent. Damn, there is a flight to NYC at 10 PM?

That one thing is so elusive.

And I’m not talking about pussy. For once in my life trust me, it’s much more than pussy. It’s More than you, Camron! I lament again and again this old adage: younger women are whores. I mean some of them really are and it’s not a bad thing. There are tons of man whores too, although most of them are liars—oh, you hooked up, huh? What y’all do… yeah I thought so! Younger women are just loose cannons plain and simple. I swear sometimes I’m not trying to “kick it, kick it” I’m just trying to kick it, see what’s cracking. I don’t want to look into your eyes and see my soul mate. Fogetaboudit!

Recently my friend was telling me of his few hollas from the last year. Too late was like a M.O. So he hollered too late… don’t I know that feeling, happens all the damn fucking time. I can see it and I know it but I don’t respect it. Part of me not trying to holler at a woman right away is because I don’t know her. I mean she could have HPV. Or worse, Oscar the Grouch in her you know what. But doesn’t every other dude do that, and without shame? You actually like being hit on by bummy dudes? Give me some respect. One Night in Claire’s Mouth wasn’t shot in a day.

The other week my friends and I were chilling, eating at this Chinese restaurant on campus. I walk in and see the chick at the front desk. She sees me and we’re both like “Oh, fuck”. I hollered at her half way through freshman year and she was receptive at first and then gave me the what-to-the-like-ev. Yeah, what was that about too late? It was funny seeing her and not being geeked. It’s a nice feeling to move on and realize “that” aint going to turn out. Although she was bummy looking, I’m sure she still looks owwweeee in street clothes—the only time I’ve ever stared at an ass for what seemed all of eternity. But she was a Cuban mami, God, why!?! Fuck 15 minutes, I just need 15 seconds. Quote that!

What I see everywhere is a rush to get it on, hit it off. It’s like dudes want to get some good loving in before the next World War. Well, with the way the U.S. is right now, I don’t blame these sheep. I like to sit back and chill. I’m in the cut. I ain’t waiting, nah, never that. I’m content without the damned dame. I can be an a-hole sometimes, I know; I keep me under wraps.

Let’s be honest for a second. Tell India I’m not ready for it.