Remixing the Remix Part 1

What is the purpose of a remix?

I’ve found myself questioning many recent remixes. We know that hit songs will be freestyled to in order to keep an artist rolling and, for some, garner actual listens (c’mon, if Hell Motherfukin Rell didn’t “Throw Some Keys” on that Rich Boy shit, I would not find the mental capacity to hear him on his own beats). Although, with a few of the hit songs that have come out this year, it seems like the artists or the record company have decided to forgo being flattered by Weezy* and Game flowing to it alone, and act quickly to make sure it is an official remix before the song grows tiresome. Also I’ve questioned certain features lately that include more than one artist. This pre-add on guest list versus an actual remix is blurry as both, currently, lack authenticity.

With that said, other reasons for an official remix arise. Recognition for the artist; connections through features; marketability; and that single will get extended play. In most cases, the original artist is an unknown. Or in the other cases, he cannot sustain a track of his own thus needs a helping hand to make him palatable. Through features on the remix, the song will get spins in different regions. If someone in Cali is a Game fan, they will be aware of any song he touches, even if it’s from Louisiana, so now Game fans know Hurricane Chris.

The featured list is a small and tight knit group of regional stars. These usual suspects welcome the remix just as much as the artist does. Weezy* has reiterated this triumphant feat throughout this year by claiming 2007 as the year of remixes and features. Hell, Weezy*’s been doing that for the last few years so it’s no surprise he dedicated his career to it (and to uttering some of the wackest rhymes in history—I’ll stop… like the sign).

In need of fans out West, just phone Game, Snoop and E-40. All three have had success because of the remix. Snoop and E-40 have extended their careers as well (pointing more at E-40). And through these remixes, E-40 has painstakingly become irritating. Don’t act like you ain’t heard them sound effects (sounds as if he's farting in through his mouth)! Odd thing about Game, he would have mostly likely release a tape of his own flows anyways but he’ll gladly take the extra exposure.

Not too many East Coast dudes get on remixes and for good reasons—they can make it on their own. Jim Jones is the number one cat on every remix. It’s as if the director’s of the remixes need one voice from NY, so they choose Jim Jones. Jones does his feature thing on the low across the country (Tum Tum, that “Oooh” song et al). It’s odd too because he lacks… everything. Yet he gets love! He definitely heads the East’s remix constituency. Jadakiss, surprisingly, gets slots on many remixes. If you think for a second though, it’s not surprising to see Jadakiss ruin his so called rep sharing the mic with Fat Joe on Paris’ “Fighting over Me”. Have you seen Jada lately? Yeah, he’s still rocking headbands—he needs that cheese. Fat Joe has been on the remix tip for a while so it’s nothing new and he’s on the back end of his career. Remy Ma is the only chick in the thick of things that holds down the spot with the boys.

The South is hot and most of the remixes start down bottom. From Houston, Slim Thug, Paul Wall and Chamillionaire are available. Chamillionaire is the only one though, who’s used the remix to his advantage. Although, Bun B is still a remix king, what hasn’t he done in the last few years? Boosie with his “Wipe Me Down” has now appeared on a few joints; I guess he reps for those under 115 lbs. Rick Ross is “it” for a Miami vibe. Jeezy, T.I. and Yung Joc have been their fare share of remixes yet their verses are kept for in-house remixes or more real/authentic cuts. Outkast is currently plugging itself on the remix circuit and will resurrect their own careers because of the decency on their borrowed bars. Weezy* is on Jim Jones status: every remix. I bet he turns some down.

R. Kelly, T-Pain, Lloyd and Akon are all “in” right now so they easily get the call for the R&B flavor.

There is this consensus that these go to guys (Remy is a man, trust me when she gets locked up) equal plays. It does. Those featured on the remixes are all “hot”, at least within radio and television circuits. Or, the remixes let veterans, in need of some life in the twilight of their career, get air time—that one last chance. The remix game circulates and re-circulates those who are “in” or about to release an album/mixtape.

It does really well for both parties but it probably gives the guests more life, staying power. Yeah, Huey got his money but will he ever come back (crossing my fingers that the G5 crashes and burns) but T-Pain and Bow Wow, because of being featured on the remix, continued to further their name and product. Speaking of T-Pain, he came two years ago with “Sprung” and “Striper” and both were remixed. He used the help of somewhat established artists and turned it around this time to his favor. He’ll be more remembered for 2007 for his appearances on remixes rather than his own Epiphany. Just wait until you hear him on Kanye’s new single.

It’s not that I’m against remixes. They serve a purpose and most of them are tolerable. Who doesn’t want to hear another verse from your favorite rapper? The frustrating thing is the cookie cutter attitude. The creation of these super remixes all need one dude from here, or there, or I need him because he’s hot or he provides sex appeal or thugitude. Nothing is authentic. There is not a real, gradual meeting. The planning is haywire. Does LL Cool J do anything if you’re Kia Shine? Can’t a remix start from wanting someone who’d help make the original better? At five plus minutes, these super remixes are just one long commercial; spit some shit and that’s your advertisement for the month. And none of these remixes kill the beat. None of them say anything different.

The re-invention of today’s version of the remix is another reason why Rap is hollower than ever. Float on your own first than you can cop a few features—that’s if the other artist thinks you’re good. I know it’s for the money but some of these artists don’t care for themselves anymore… that indifference is starting to rub off on me and I’m going to stop caring—listening—to these dudes one of these days. The remixes are turning into a bad orgy: 40 year old, mature women with sagging titties; butterfaced broads with triple F’s; young, flashy chicks who just stick the dick in their mouth and bite down; dudes on dudes; men wiping men down (LOL!); pussy be so crusty and unshaven it looks like Jimmy Jones face (eek!); and worst of all it never ends—it’s like I’ve seen that dick in that same hole ten times now!

Part 2 coming Thursday (tomorrow). I’ll explain some remix examples in detail.