War is Raw

North Korea
Kim Jong-Il, Bravo! You showed the world that you are your own man by blasting missiles “supposedly” towards the U.S. Hooray, you don’t care about anyone either, South Korea, the U.S, nor your own people. I’m for keeping capitalistic nation’s grubby, bloody hands out from muddling in another country. FYI Bush: people are making money off of North Korea, such as China & Russia. You’re just jealous and it stings. Americans could care less about Koreans (look at Iraqis) as you’ve been using this NK threat for your advantage to scare people and it works, but only to a certain degree. NK is not an actual threat folks. Their tests clearly show the world and even Il that he can barely hit Russia or Japan. Il’s piss trajectory probably could hit Alaska before one of his missiles. His army is massive, but it’s known that he has old, Cold War ammunitions. So simmer down George! Bush recently said that North Korea was asked not to launch missiles by many nations. Flashback to Fall 2002 and early 2003, Bush was asked by many nations not to go to war with Iraq without evidence of WMDs. Like Saddam, Il is a rouge state leader that thinks it’s cool to go against Goliath. Which it so is. But this aint a mythical story Il. Here David, Korea, has no chance of ever posing a threat to take down Goliath, the US. Il, you're a hoot without a real cause and you're people are suffering. You enjoy American spaghetti westerns and that says a lot about your fervor. Those Americans will come one day and throw you in Bud Light cooler. Weeks later they will re-find you and show your small, Mini-me frame, falling out of that Bud Light smelling of black marketed beer. “We’ve got Il! Who’d a thunk it, Kim got hammered off of good ol’ American Bud Light! And he couldn’t handle his Bud. Oh man!” Later Bud Light will release a statement claiming it had nothing to do with Il. Sure I’ll buy it. And I’ll buy a Bud too. This Bud’s For You, Il.
Kim Jong-Il you’re living a lie, George Bush you are too. But Aren’t I? Yes I am because that woman will never talk to me. I’ve used diplomatic efforts, to no avail. She wont have any of it. Forceable measures have not been taken (she should be thankful). I could topple her in an instant. But no one wants me to do that. She wont have me. What to do? Let someone else free her, somebody that has a better track record you know, me being a convicted rapist and all.

At Ease Soldier
For a moment that is, son. Where are we going again sir? Oh, okay. Where’s that again? I Ran? Deployment 0600 soldier! I Ran, soldier! Middle East! Bad Muslims! 9/11! Durka, Durka! Do you want to have your wife bee-keeping, don’t you want your kids to eat cheap, Happy Meals at McDonald’s with those cute, colorful toys from Pixar movies! You want Freedom, right! Sir, Yes, Sir! Your Country needs you! You spread freedom! Imagine yourself as a ferry… oh, No! Scarp that! Sir, Yes, Sir! You like Harry Potter? Sir, No, Sir, I am 19 years old, Sir! Scrap that! Gandalf? No, Sir, No. But that will do, Sir! You are Gandalf from Lord of the Rings. You are a wizard. You are crafty. You have an M-16, no sex for 6 months and American machismo, the best! Your wand, the M-16, will spread magical dust into the hearts of I Ranians. You will get distraught and embark in a rape/torture scandal – it is your fault, but you must take our orders! Is that clear? Sir, Yes, Sir. That right leg of yours, well this will be the last time it steps on US soil. That’s what I tell my recruits, your right leg for 6 months of service. Then you get some college money. Fair trade off if I’ve seen one, son! You are doing our dirty work! More so, you work for the rich, great corporate persons of America who started this war. I don’t hear an applause! Sir, permission to speak Sir! What is it? Sir, I have an itchy trigger finger, Sir! You better Son! Sleep with your wand tonight! Make passionate love to it and not your girlfriend! DO I MAKE MYSLEF CLEAR!

I’ve seen this before
The Osama Bin Laden search conducted by the CIA since 1996 is dropping off. CIA members have worried about him every day for ten years and it seems now they have given up hope. Does he have a new, working dialysis machine? We should really send him some donated Birkenstocks for Ramadan. He’s in the mountainous terrain of Tora Bora nightly, right? Does he need a Dell? Can he here me now? Great ideas must have been kicked around before this one. And it’s about time. This is 3 years old. Some light bulb must have turned on in the CIA: Oh, yeah that one movie when Tom Hanks stopped chasing Leo Decaprio… Catch Me If You Can! Stopping the chase led to Leo’s demise. Hey and afterwards Osama will come running for us. Remember he needs us. He wouldn’t be who he is without America. We’ll make a deal, after drugging him and he’ll work for us against the war on terror. CIA, such reasoning, how can we thank you? Shut up and do. It’s already been done.