What's Happenin'

Bringing Herpes Back
Mr. Justin really thought he was bringing sexy back? Hmm, parading around with that goose, Timerberland all the damn time aint sexy. Although Timberland continues to lose weight, those suits are getting tighter every time. Justin and sexy? No explanation needed. His SexyBack album? Not so sexy. Everything sounds the same and his girlish voice doesn’t come through often. You’d just wished he’d released a DVD album, plastered with music videos instead of his stale voice. All he’s good for, it seems, is to dance around the stage and show us “innovative” dance moves.

Make that Pussy Talk
Bruce Springsteen is a rocker of old and new. The pieces of the Boss I’d always listened to placed him in high regard. He was the working man fighting and speaking of his and our regularities. I came across a song about a year ago, but never paid too much attention to it. Then I happened to listen to it the other day. WOW. Speak brother! Boss man go! His, “Pink Cadillac” startled me. Was he really like this? Ewwww! ‘I don’t want to hear this, is this really Bruce!’ Yes it was. I was taken aback, but then realized that if Bruce were the everyman’s mucisian, then he’d have to speak of the working man’s love. By golly, they’ve got to get down to. Alluding to vaginas as pink cadillacs is so unclassy, but working men aren’t classy. The only reason of mention is that you don’t expect the likes of Bruce Springsteen to use lay terms when speaking about love and furthermore you’d thought he’d use his crafty writing skills to manifest love in a new light. Also, in the world of explicit, over the top rap, rappers are so basic with their mentions of the opposite sex, that “Pink Cadillac” doesn’t seem bad at all.

What is it Now Percy?!
Percy “Make ‘em say ughhh” Miller better known as Master P will produce a musical later this year on the devastating hurricane Katrina. What P, you think you can parlay your appearance on Fox’s “Dancing with the Stars” into great entertainment on a serious issue? Oh, wait you have experience acting. I forgot. Let me look at your resume. Not bad, “The Last Don” loved it, “I Got the Hook Up!” marvelous and I see here a stint with Romeo on Nickelodeon. All of your No Limit productions were meaningful and were so on point with current issues at that time. So much so that you’re more than qualified to frolic around the stage, hire down trodden (real life) bums from NOLA as actors and produce your own score with your son, Romeo, singing notes. Toss in the black church choir, gallons of water, Linda Bush (not to be mistaken with the actual intention of meaning the president’s wife Laura Bush), some looters, empty pockets, trailer homes and you’ve got TONY awards written all over it. I can see it now… And the winner is… Katrina The Musical! UGHH!

Money$$$Maker
This Ludacris with no braids look aint working. Give me back the real Luda. What, you really think you can act? You think Hollywood’s all of a sudden going to cast you in a movie just because you don’t have braids. Does this cornrow free Luda believe he needs to look unblack? Hollywood would never cast regardless of your braids or not. You’ll be tossed in the next scary movie that needs a token, a basketball concept, drug/inner city related or Fast and Furious movie. And if you didn’t do it for Hollywood, you look wack.

It’s Your Boy
Jay Z’s comeback is wacker than his lame comeback at Cam’ron. While I respect him for his pure talent over the past decade, I don’t respect that retiring bullshit. His new album, Kingdom Come, is reportedly coming out a week before Thanksgiving. I didn’t believe that the Black Album was his last and feel that his whole marketing of that retiring/comeback was and is a marketing scheme. It will work though, as anyone will swoop at the chance to hear the most respected current rapper. Life after the Black Album: wasting his time over B’s songs (stop it! We get it you got a good looking chick, but Ike would be a better duet partner than you), Jeezy & Ross (gimmicks, but not all bad. Where’s NYC, Jay?), Cristal boycott (really, do I care. You’re getting to the point that Britney is at: you need attention and your name in people’s mouth. Whatever my feelings for Jay-Z aside, his album is assured to be better than most things out right now, but what’s he going to rap about? Ozs, pushin’, Marcy? Get outta here! More like, leer jets, caviar and sucking the south’s dick. As far as his career vs Kingdom Come? Cam said it best, “He out of retirement, Jordan on the Wizards.”