The Arizona Cardinals Have Had It Up to Here!

The owner of the Arizona Cardinals, Bill Bidwell, issued a statement Wednesday that he'd decided, after much deliberation, the team needs a change. Bidwell adamantly remarked, "Ya know, this team has been through a lot. Denny has done as much as he could. I mean, look at what he did with the Vikings as evidence. The 20 point defecit defeat by Da Bears was incredible. Did you see Brian (Urlacher). Gosh he was Superman out there, I tell ya. Nobody was blocking him. Denny assured me he'd be working with our much maligned linemen this week. The Arizona franchise itself has seen so much adversity and usually in those times of great weakness, I move 'em. From Chicago to St. Louis and now here in Arizona, we've picked up and hit the trail on to a new and hopeful destination. 'When the going gets tough I get out the kithcen', I tells my wife everytime she be cookin' her chicken pot pies. You know I think it's just our time. Tony Kornhieser was right, we need to move. The citizens of Arizona just don't deserve us and not until we get our act together are going to come back. I know ya'll are going to gripe that we burdened taxpayers with a brand new stadium that wont even be used by us no more. But ya'll can circuses and bowl games and high school championships. We need some time away from here - maybe we'd be a good fit for a traveling pack of clowns, Ha! Yeah, that's it the Cardinals is Clowns! We'll just travel and play where ever. Heck we can even try St. Louis again?" A reporter quipped, "But, ah, Mr. Bidwell, sir, the St. Louis Rams already play in St. Louis?" Bidwell appeared puzzled snarled, "Well, I reckon that's the truth. Umm, hmm? Maybe, Chicago, no. Darnit, gosh Da Bears play there. Well, alls I know is we aint going play in Arizona no more. Tony Kornhieser said so on MNF (Monday Night Football) and I trust that spastic man with my all heart. We going to travel from here on out and we aint never coming back, unless we have to of course because of that might fine state of the art stadium they built for us."

Coach Denny Green and his Day


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