Mel Kiper on the NFL Draft 2016

Tyler Sanduls
K, 4’10’’ 76 lbs.
8th Grade Home Schooled/ Johnson M.S.
Scottsdale, Arizona

His parents lobbied to gain entrance onto a team because he is currently home schooled. Coach Kerry Kerr insisted though because his team didn’t have a kicker. Tyler has a powerful leg for his body; he can already nail 12 yard field goals. The one downside is he sits alone on the bench talking with no one. And in the future he might want to diversify to better his NFL chances. When I asked him about punting he denounced me, “I kick!”



Derrick Allsachs
WR/S, 5’2’’ 97 lbs.
6th Grade Derek’s School for kids that can’t read good
San Marina, California

Derrick cannot catch a breast if you put a nipple in his grasp, I’ve tried—this kid hasn’t hit puberty yet. He continually runs out of bounds and across the street. As a safety too, he needs to learn that safeties cover and hit hard. Allsachs is always 40 yards down field expecting a break out play or a deep bomb. The upside to this kid is whenever he does catch a ball or picks up a loose ball he can run with it. He’s got moves and speed, although sometimes he does run the wrong way.


James Todd
QB, 5’6’’ 154 lbs
6th Grade Leon C. Kraft M.S.
Louisville, Kentucky

This kid’s arm strength is great, phenomenal. He can throw it 35 yards down field. His teammates can’t even catch a football yet and can’t see the ball being thrown. The balls usually bounce of their helmets, which led to 17 interceptions this past season. If James keeps his head on mentally with his weak team and remembers a three step drop instead of a 6 and a half and three to the left drop, he’s going to be one heck of a Q’ for the Lions, who in 2016, will still be in the dumps.

Chrysler Murdoch
QB, 5’5’’ 127 lbs.
7th Grade Sputter M.S.
Shreveport, Louisiana

His talent level is through the roof. As of yesterday he grew another inch and is now 5’6’’. His one downside is his low tolerance for pain. Chrysler cries all the time. When he’s pushed or tackled he gets up limping and crying wolf. Much to his dismay the coaches leave him in. He was taken out of a game last year 18 different times for numerous “injuries” ranging from a scratch to his foot being stepped on to the “temperature is too hot in this helmet” to “I think my leg’s broken”. He is always seen with three or more band aids on.

Tyrone Carter
RB/WR/QB/DB/Track Star/PG/CF, 5’4’’ 105 lbs.
7th Grade Tucker M.S.
Washington D.C.

Carter is a freak. I thought I was at Cirque de Solelil when I saw this kid. He can do about anything. He runs well, jutting often. His 40 time was a 4.3797, which at this age is incredible. He can catch, throw, punt, pass and kick (and he’s won that competition 8 years in a row now). Heck if the NFL doesn’t pan out, some sport will! The only knock on this kid is attitude. From what I’ve heard Carter is quite the class clown. Hmm, grow up kid! If Ty can pass the 7th grade this time (he’s failed the last two years), he’ll be well on his way. He says no to drugs and “Yes sir!”

Alex Mitchell
DT, 5’5’’ 248 lbs.
8th Grade Harvey M.S.
Allentown, Pennsylvania

Here is a beast, a bear. Rrrrrr! Put him in the middle and it’s over; nobody is running through, or around him. His determination lacks at times but spikes when people call him “Fat ass!” He also is short winded; usually by third down he’s sitting or even lying on the ground, resting. I didn’t want to point out that during his 40 he ran a few steps, stopped, bickered with his coaches, started walking, stopped, cried and went to the sidelines, picked up a metal foldable chair and attempted to throw it but in haste fell down himself with the chair toppling on his stomach where, after balancing for a few moments, slid off and hit the ground but not before the hind leg of the chair busted him in the lip where upon, later, he cussed his coach out and never again had to run a 40. And when the team is on offense Alex can be seen maneuvering his hands through Doritos bags and boxes of Nilla wafers.

Manchester Cadings
QB, 5’7’’ 117 lbs.
8th Grade Helens M.S.
Jackson, N.Y.

He reads defenses like Peyton Manning and picks them apart. His work ethic is very methodical and he never makes mistakes. 31 TDs, 0 INTs. 167/166 completions (and no that isn’t a mistake, he has one more completion than he’s thrown). But what scouts are wincing at are his 4.33 GPA and his dedication elsewhere: his flute. Manchester has repeatedly expressed interest in pursuing a flute career in high school and even contemplating ending his perfect football career. “I idolized Peyton and Marino all my life but when I saw Sir William Hansfield play at a packed Worthington last March, I was blown away. I told myself, me and the Flute will be in Worthington one day. One day!” He may want to rethink his boyhood dreams; flutes are for girls.