After all he’s just being Curtis

FOX has just signed a deal with Camron Giles the leader of the rap group, the Diplomats, to air a show Leave it to Curtis: the Snitch. Lead Director of Development for FOX Trevor Rankor explains, “Of course us folk at FOX love muck, really! We enjoy whatever comes our way. So when we noticed MTV’s highly popular and addictive chronicle of Three Six Mafia in L.A., Adventures in Hollyhood, we were gasping. And crying. Why didn’t we think of this and where is our Hippity Hop spin off? I mean, we like to exploit black people just as much as the next corporation and blame Hip Hop for damn near everything but when do we get our Nielsen ratings? So cut forward to last weekend and I’m eating a steak with my “niggas” at Don Felatio’s in New Huntington, California—Yo, yo shout out to my home-woman Lisa Stallworth in marketing and my man locked up, at home with his wife when he should have been at the golf course this weekend, Big Ted, stay up dog, stay up! As you can see this rapper thing is rubbing off already. But I get a call from my colleague William Jennings and he says, “Your buddy Camron is on 60 Minutes talking about snitching.” And I’m like, “Nohh, snaps! I ain’t watching that!” I mean, c’mon, a FOX man watching that propaganda laden news—Ed Bradley shook hands with terrorists for Chrissakes! I did watch it Monday at work and immediately got on the phone with Camron. I thought if Camron got himself on 60 Minute yakking it up with America about snitching, then he surely could produce an entertaining show. We talked for an hour and he gave me his ideas on a show he’s been thinking of. He had it all planned out and everything too; he kept on lecturing me about snitching and that 50 cent guy, though. He sent me to his works: Killa Season and his numerous You Tube videos monitoring his “beefs” with his ghetto’s inhabitants. We, Killa and me, are in the works of fully writing and producing the sitcom. And we’re getting actors in line for auditions in two weeks. It should be out for Fall 2007.”

From what we were able to extract from Rankor, at least from his meetings with Camron, is that the show will be a sitcom of 50 cent’s life with his G-Unit crew spending their new life in the upper crust of Connecticut society. The show’s premise revolves around 50 cent, real name Curtis Jackson, getting caught up with the Connecticut town’s social crowd. His best friends are Tony Yayo, real name Marvin Bernard, and Lloyd Banks, real name Christopher Lloyd. At first, he feels as if he’s an outsider, in the first two episodes he’s belligerently called a “Gorilla with rabbit teeth” by kids and laughed at. Suffering from a severe case of tattling, he begins to create large gossip circles and befriends high school girls. Clubbing and driving around the lake are their favorite pastimes. In one episode Curtis laments to his new found friend Lacy, “Yeah, I got shot 10 times actually. I wanted to be humble. See. That’s when I got shot when I was at the police station for telling on Lil’ Jon Jon on 147th. He was doin bad stuff. Ayo, but Lacy, you need to stop kickin it wit James Lee. I’m serious. I saw him kiss Jess at Wild Hogs last month. I didn’t want to tell you but, I had to!” And in another developing plot piece, a new kid comes to town. His name is Razor Sharp and he’s from Detroit. Razor Sharp becomes a popular member of the Unit but after a few episodes, Curtis, spontaneously, decides to can Razor Sharp for no apparent reason. Curtis claims, in an intellectually fused tone, “It was on a lark.” Curtis soon begins to be hot stuff in the town and he is well liked by his friends and disliked by a majority of people who he attacks. He causes a lot of trouble around this suburban community. Much to the chagrin of others, Curtis runs with the town’s police and is let off with a slap on the wrist. Although, when Curtis causes too much trouble, he hears it from his superior, Jimmy Iovine of Interscope Records, and Iovine will yell, “Currrrrrtissssss!”

From the early looks of it, and with the genius that is Camron’s script writing, Leave it to Curtis: the Snitch should be a smash hit not only for FOX, but for the viewers. Oh, and I think Curtis will laugh too. After all he’s just being Curtis.