Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Imus' Best Arguments Against Rap/R&B

Joc Coffee Shop
Where do I start? Joc as a Eddie Murphy of sorts. Using the words "coffee" and "shop" as an anthem. I'm glad this'll be Joc's last shining moment.

Soulja Boy Soulja Girl
I love the R&B-ish croons of the "yuuuuughhs". If a stranger ever walks over to you and calls you his soulja girl, spray him with mace. Why are they doing that same dance in this song... oh yeah shooking and jiving.

Mims Like This
No one spontaneously dances to this song, do they?

Flo-Rida Low
It is the most wretched song I've heard recently. The hook is ____. T-Pain is ____. The formulaic song is ___. Flo-Rida is on steriods.

Hurricane Chris Hand Clap
He is shining like the light. Keep clapping my hand like I'm killing a bug. Words sometimes are stronger than actions. We've all had this talk with ourselves 'What is he talking about'. And what exactly is that dance and why is that kid there? So many questions... Chris is a living example of why George Bush's No Child Left Behind policy failed.

Ja Rule Weezy* Uh Oh
A. Uh-oh is right.
B. I just threw up.
C. Is that Ja Rule? And is he trying to act sexy with Weezy*?
D. All the above.

Young Ralph Like Money
He does look, feel and smell like EBT's.

Johnte Red Monkey Jeans
I feel sorry for his mother (no Menace to Society).

Project Pat Don't Call Me No Mo
I cut Pat a lot of slack and usually I like his goofy attempts at making music. But this song is intelligent proof. I will say I have used with my girl, I mean just broke her off like 'Don't text me no.'

Webbie Independent
Like I said before, this isn't the spelling bee Webbie. And what's with your chia pet fro? What was the budget for the vid, with all the morphing graphics? I'm digging the 3 flat screens in the back, shit homie's doing it big.

50 Cent Amusement Park
Of the all the awful things 50 released this year, this "Candy Shop" rehash takes the cake. This song makes me want to take a wet shit, not get freaky.

Trapstarz Get It Bitch
If you hadn't heard the song, let yourself skip it. It's the most annoying hook that gets stuck in my head for days at a time, 'Get it bitch!'.

DJ Unk Two Step
I didn't mind the song at all yet it's Unk's unstylistic brand of wearing hood fab clothes and bringing in boatloads of cute kids who can dance in a big warehouse that makes you cringe at how simple this concept (and old) it is.

Jay Z Blue Magic
Please let me in on what he's talking about. I still don't like the stripped down video either. He shoulda called it "Red Magic"!


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