Spreading Mistletoe

Regina: Well, what are you waiting for, Al? Blow me away! You darned near did that to everybody else – yeah you got no care in the world! You expect Donny to lay that red carpet out fors ya, huh? So you can walk all over everybody’s misery? Do it I tell ya! We aint got all day! Well, Al what’s to be of me, que sera? Do me like you did the rest of ‘em! In an alley, in Copeland’s dumpster like you did with Fey. I know what happened – I’ve seen it, I believe it! No goods like you, all of yous… What are you waiting for? Dinner! Sock it to me already! Jesus H – I never in a million years woulda thunk this one up Al. Don’t look at me like that, save those doggy eyes for the picket line. I warned you Al, if you dug too deep, they’d shovel the dirt back on you while yous still alive! Now look at you, loading that gun in disdain – Hell! The hell I’m in… the hell you in! What you gaining from this Al, huh? Noteriety, prestige, gold coins, another dame to fill that 14th notch upon your bedpost? You loved me Al, you told me so?
Al: I tell many things to many women, you hear!
Regina: Well, that don’t make it right!
Al: Don’t care if it’s wrong or right, Regina! I don’t know what the hells I done to you to make me do this.
Regina: (Pfftt) Get your jazz outta her! Make me quick. Yous a Chinaman ‘bout to sink in a sea of black gold!
Al: What the hell Regina? You gon compare me to a Chinaman? Didn’t I tell you I changed, we’ve changed! Can’t be calling folk, especially me, Chinamen no more. It aint right! You aint right Regina!
Regina: Tell it to the judge Al!
Al: Ha! [Laughs] Regina, Regina, Regina, Regina. When are going to learn? Judge Jenkins was found at Beard & Lacey last night – I must say, crime pays well.
Regina: You murderer! You ravenous underling! How dare I let you spread my mistletoe that cold, cold December night…
Al: Aint no tears in this business Regina. That’s why I got the gun clenched in my right and your beauty in my sight.
Regina: Cut the poetic justice Al! It’s too late for fun and games. [Weeps]
Al: Ha! Ha! [Cascading Laughs] Oh, Regina there was never pleasing you!
Regina: You find torment funny Al? Do ya!
Al: Regina? That’s why I never loved you…
Regina: Give it to me already! Lord Jesus why has this man forsaken my mistletoe!
Al: Regina not even all the diamonds in the world…
Regina: Didn’t I tells you already? That Shakespeare jive wont fly here!
Al: You never let me finish Regina do you?
Regina: Well, you finished on my mistletoe!
Al: The past again, huh, Regina. Thought we were past the past and passed it a long time ago. It’s childish women like you that make my job easier. And besides I faked it!
Regina: [Gasps and Collapses]
Al: [Rushes over to Regina]
Regina awakes in a fevered frenzy. They lock arms and slap their lips in the form of a wet, romantic kiss.