This Old Whore: Chinese Whores

Every time I’m out on the ave and seem to be struggling for the day, a rusted out Regal or a smashed in Sentra pulls close. As it hugs the curb, idling, the man surveys the block for his choice of girl. I begin to walk towards him, as I have seniority here and am the first one to take action, we call it “whore protocol”; it’s just the rules of the game. So I’m smirking, thanking my lucky stars that I can get food tonight and then… this woman steps in front me and snatches my man. I was so close I could smell the Miller Lite stained carpets in his car. Lo and behold, who comes and steals my meat: a Chinese whore. Literally. It’s like whenever I’m mad I yell “Chinese whore!” They are so sly and subversive. “I lub you lawng time,” really, cut that shit out, no one wants to hear it. It’s amazing though, because the burly, out of shape men who patronize us, love, I mean love Asian women. Since Asian are like 2 feet tall and 12 pounds, the men get to envelope them with their unshapely figures and mangle them if they want to. With us Americans they do that and the “date” is off. Chinese whores don’t even care if they’re tossed around the bed. They’re so fucking innocent, my ass! They know how speak “Engrish” yet that plays with their likability. Men love that anonymity, by not speaking English it supposedly gives men license to control all the more. They can shower slurs, degradations and name call. Chinese whores are indifferent, they show no emotion—they have no emotion! They will do anything; it’s in their culture to do as told. Me? You ask me to go down there, you better say please! With all the supposed language barrier and innocent mannerisms, when it comes down to business, they are the shrewdest around. “You looook, you buy! You smell, you buy! You touch, you pay dubal! Pay now. You pay cassshh! No check, no debit card. Pay casshhh! No, pusseee eggstra! 50 dolla, I take clo’ off. Anal? Me no unastan’?” They are very crass. I mean if I were in need of service and were an impotent man, my libido would be killed after dealing with these women. They wreck our business. But our pimp, the Magnificent Mr. “Fabulous” Chazz is an EOE, an equal opportunity employer, go figure. He says diversifying the clientele, the product, increases business exponentially. He’s smart; he got some fancy degree at some college. The worst is when you confront these women and tell them that that customer was yours, they’re like, “Me do not know. I come country and I look for job. This only one suit me. I stive my best. I no wan infringe no one. I no botha no one.” And they have the audacity to stand there with this blank face. I’m like ‘Bitch, this is my block! I run it!’ and I just might rat on them to Chazz and tell them how they don’t pay full pimp tax, because they always be charging customers different prices, even men they’ve serviced before. Whore prices aren’t supposed to fluctuate even with inflation! The “Walmart” is supposed to cost $17 with a smile, no more, no less!